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Wallace SC&W
Rev. Stephen C. Wallace
Steps to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity
(specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q + the number of the question)
Prayer:
Q.1 – Commit to a regular scheduled prayer time. Evaluate the areas causing the decreased
frequency in prayer and what specifically diminishes it. Look for individuals whose support is
most important to your ability to pray and identify what they can do to help. Ask them to help you
be more consistent. Perhaps look at the location where you find it easiest to connect with God
(e.g. outside, in a chapel, in a quiet/plain room) and where you find it most difficult.
Q.3 – In looking at your area of greatest need seek out reference material to study from the
internet or your local bookstore. Look for workshops on the area or ask church leadership if they
have something (or could create something) on the area. If what you need is accountability, find
someone you trust to be an ‘encourager’, set up guidelines for what you need them to do, and
maybe even have a contract giving them permission to be in this role.
Q.4 -Focus (e.g. for a week) upon each of these topics of prayer:
___ Praise (e.g. this is celebrating who God is as opposed to what God has specifically
done for us. This can be done by looking at nature and sharing your thoughts about
God’s majesty, imagination, creativity, power, personality, love, wisdom, etc. Go
through the alphabet and come up with as many descriptive words about God for each
letter as you can.)
___ Thanks (e.g. list all the things that you have to be grateful about, paint a picture to
God expressing your gratitude, write a thank you note to God each day for that week.)
___ Needs (e.g. make symbols of what you most want or need, ask God for what you
desire and then reflect on what God’s answer is for that request, ask family and
friends for prayer requests and pray one day a week/month for them)
___ Sharing Yourself (e.g. write wrongs done on paper and offer them to God by burning
them, bring to God areas of struggle, hurt or concern and ask for the Lord to guide
you in seeing the path to take and any repair needing to be done). Share celebrations
and joys knowing that God loves you. Imagine what you would say about your
situation to a best friend and then tell that to God.
___ Being with God (walking each moment in the Lord’s presence) Talk with God about
your thoughts and feelings, questions or what you notice. Work to keep God in the
forefront of your thoughts. Select an item to remind you to be with God (e.g. penny,
marble, cross, etc.) Or pick certain times or activities and each time they occur focus
on God (e.g. each time you look at watch think about what you want to share with God
at that moment)
Q.5 -Try some of these methods of prayer:
___ Guided Imagery
___ Pray the Psalms (Ps. 29-awe of God, Ps 30-God’s helpfulness, Ps 32-repentance &
forgiveness, Ps 73-envy, Ps 70-fear, Ps 77-despair)
___ Pray a Song (e.g. make a song a prayer- “More Precious than Silver”)
___ Hour(s) of Silence (Ask for God to share with you and then see what comes to mind)
___ Prayer of Listening (read Scripture and reflect on what God wants to tell you in it, pay
attention to your physical and emotional feelings about this time or the Scripture)
___ Pray through art (pottery, painting, sand art, etc.)
___ Pray through music
___ Meditation
Q. 6 – Schedule a regular time (e.g. 2-4 weeks) to try each prayer focus (ie. Family on Mondays,
Friends on Tuesday, World on Wednesday, God’s will on Thursday, Church on Friday, etc.). Put
together a file into which you add specific concerns for each area. When the time to give extra
focus to that area comes pull out the file and lift up those issues (ie. don’t give up your regular
prayers)
Q.7/8 – Spend 3-15 minutes each day for a week listening for God. During this time you might
read a Scripture and listen for what God might have to say about it, sit outside and look/listen for
signs of God’s touch and message, focus on an issue and let your mind/heart work to sense God’s
desires, or sit in silence and focus on God. Perhaps hold an object (e.g. take a cross to keep you
focused) or use one word (e.g. Savior, Master, Leader) to center in on God, as you breath in focus
on what God is giving to you and as you breath out reflect on how the Lord wants you to be
transformed by it. Being silent is not easy to do so don’t give up when you get distracted or if you
do not “hear” anything immediately. Silence takes practice and we can learn from the art and discipline
of silence. When you get distracted simply refocus and remember that even if “nothing” comes silence
is valuable in itself.
Q.9 –Why do you pray this amount? Are you content with it? Why? What would increase
the frequency of your prayer or your desire for prayer?
Other resources: Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline”, Maxie Dunnam’s studies:
Workbook of Living prayer, Workbook of Intercessory Prayer, Workbook on Spiritual Disciplines,
Saddleback Church’s 201 Class, Bill Hybles’ “Too Busy not to Pray”, John Ortberg’s “God is
Closer than you think”
Learning:
Q.1 – How can you best use the method of learning most powerful for you (e.g. identify people
Who stimulate you and plan time to be with them, regularly take time to be in nature to observe
It, select books to read over the next 6 months, pick commentaries and other resource books to
Help you study and understand the Bible).
Go to a bookstore or library and look for other study possibilities. Watch for seminars
on topics of interest or need.
Q.2 – Spend a week on a passage of Scripture with day 1 just reading it, day 2 reading for historic
knowledge, day 3 reading for personal message/application, day 4 reading for God’s call to you
for action, day 5 reading for God’s promise or gift, etc.
Q.3 -Use a Read Through the Bible in A Year program to fully experience the Scripture material.
Or pick a part of the Bible that you rarely/never have studied…why haven’t you studied it?
Choose a week to look over it. __________________________________________________
If you don’t feel comfortable reading from the Bible, Why not? What would make you more
comfortable? Would an introduction course on the Bible help (e.g. from a College or a study from
a bookstore)? Use the internet or a commentary so that another’s ideas can challenge, push or
encourage you (e.g. go to http://bible.christianity.com, or another site where you can read other
people’s notes or thoughts on passages)
Q.4 –If you are not familiar with Bible resources, find a person to help show you these. Spend
some time familiarizing yourself with them so that you know how to use them and what they
offer you. If you want a person to help you learn about them, ask your Pastor or go to a local
bookstore and ask the staff to explain resources and what they provide.
Q.5 –If you focus mostly on head knowledge work to personally apply lessons. Perhaps by
placing yourself in the role of various persons in the story and then searching for the connections
to your life (e.g. similar feelings, situation) or by rewriting the story as if it were happening to you.
If you limit the knowledge element then read noticing the setting, lifestyles, historic details, etc.
Use a Bible Dictionary or Study Bible to help identify and clarify these so that you better grasp
the issues and message.
Q.7 -Seek out studies on the topic/issue of interest (e.g. forgiveness, death, healing). Or do a
theme or word study using a concordance (e.g. Strong’s) search for where and how the word is
used in the Bible (e.g. Chosen-Matt 12:18, 20:16, 22:14, Mark 13:20, Luke 10:42, John 6:70,
13:18, 15:16-19, Acts 1:2, 1:24, 9:15, 10:41, 15:22, 15:25, 22:14, Romans 16:13, 1 Corinthians
1:27-28, 2 Corinthians 2:19, Ephesians 1:4. 2 Thessalonians 2:13, 2 Timothy 2:4, James 2:5, 1
Peter 2:4, 2:9, Revelations 17:14)
Q.8 –Refuse to ‘remove’ yourself from the focus of passage or lesson. When studying
continually ask how God is working to challenge, confront, or encourage you personally by it.
Always ask: “So what does this call me to do?”
Other resources: Saddleback Church’s 201 Class which gives methods for meditation, study,
memorization and more. Gary Thomas “Sacred Pathways”, Myra Perrine “What’s your God
Language”, Richard Foster “Celebration of Discipline”
Worship:
Q.1/2 –Worship is to be a lifestyle and not just an hour we spend once a week or so. Watch
for pennies and whenever you see one on the ground or receive one in change look at the imprint
“In God we Trust.” As you see those words ask yourself: “Am I trusting God right now? How
do I need to trust God today?” Then give thanks to God for being so trustworthy. Find other
ways to bring God into your everyday life (when you are in the car watch for things to give thanks over,
when in nature look for things that show God’s creativity and power, etc.)
Q.4/5 – How might you strengthen your participation as part of the “Body of Christ” in worship?
___ Singing
___ Noticing the Prayer needs (not just listening but lifting up/remembering concerns)
___ Noticing the needs of others and responding to them
___ Share Communion with another
___ Attending a Service
___ Other ___________________________________________________________
How do you need to enhance your personal involvement in worship?
___ Focus on personal application of the message
___ Personalize the Prayers (make them your prayer)
___ Prepare yourself before the service to come into God’s presence
___ Use the night before to put things into place and remove internal and external
obstacles to your worshipping (set alarm clock, set out clothes, confess sins)
___ Other _____________________________________________________________
Reflect on how to take control of being with God. Prepare yourself to be with God and focus on
those thoughts that most powerfully bring you into connection with God. Deal with distractions by
resisting being drawn off the focus of worshiping God by noises, others, or a wandering mind.
Write notes about what is being said to help keep focused on the message, bring to mind things
in your life that match the issues lifted up in prayer (forgiveness mentioned-search for where you
have hurt others, joy talked about-remember blessings of your last week, etc.). When your mind
does wander don’t beat yourself up but gently refocus. Remember, worship is about your offering
God yourself and not what others do or don’t do. Your ongoing effort to be with the Lord brings
delight.
Q.6 – Celebrate these but remember these are just tools to reach out to God. How can you best
use these to connect with God?
Q.7 – Look for things about these facets of worship that others find meaningful. If you don’t
understand them learn more about them and their use. See if there is an aspect of them that
you can value and be blessed by.
Q.8 –Spend a service focusing totally on being:
*part of the community (e.g. singing passionately, joining in the responses, focusing on the
group’s needs in times of prayer, etc.)
*then one focused on personal reflection (e.g. read biblical passages with you specifically
in mind, focus prayer on your needs and calling, listen for how things impact your
personal relationship with Christ),
*then one on helping others worship (e.g. notice the needs of others and how you can help
them such as helping them stand, hold a book for the elderly, supporting a parent with
small children, etc.).
Relationships:
Q.1 –Why do you socialize as frequently/infrequently as you do? Identify the goal, motives,
attitudes and desires driving your actions. Challenge any improper or destructive focuses such as
self-promotion, fear of being left out, etc.
Q.2 – Examine why you like these settings and what you don’t like about those you avoid. Are
there things you can do to gain from each setting? What steps will you take to do that? With
prayer and reflection identify 2 or 3 events/couples/individuals/groups with whom you would like
to socialize. Pray for God to open the right opportunity for that to happen. Initiate a meeting (e.g.
coffee, dinner, go to an event) in the next 1-2 months.
Q.3 –Spend a week focused on listening to everyone else. Notice distractions and things that
make it hard for you to listen intently. Reflect on ways you can remove these barriers. Before
social events spend time identifying 2-3 things you can ask others about in order to show your
interest in them as well as 2-3 things about yourself that can be shared. Seek more to understand
than to be understood. Don’t be working out what you are to say next instead of listening to the
person speaking.
Keep a notebook of concerns/successes/experiences of Christian friends and ask about them later
(e.g. remember the date of a big work project & call to see how it went).
Q.4 –Search for things to value in each person you meet and something you can gain/learn from
him/her. Continue to watch for things that you didn’t know or that you could learn about people as
your relationship continues.
Q.5/6/7 –Reflect upon why you keep the things secret that you do. Think about the benefits and
risks of sharing yourself with someone. If you don’t share a part of you begin by talking with God
about this part of you.
Identify what parts and with whom you would be willing (or need) to share your life journey
(successes and difficulties).
Impact/Making a Difference:
Q.1 – If the difference you made was positive then CELEBRATE IT! Remember and cherish it.
Q.2 – If your impact was negative list the things you will do to change what you are doing so that
you have a positive impact. If it is a positive difference, how will you continue it or even build on
it? __________________________________________________________________________
Q.3 –What will you do to find out about this area of interest (e.g. read about it, talk to someone
involved in it, search about it on the web, do a trial participation in it)? Identify steps to offer
this gift. ____________________________________________________________________
Q.4 – If you have hesitation about getting in the ballgame identify the hesitation, search for its
source (why it is an issue for you), and deal with the issues? __________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Q.5 -Identify where your spending goes and the priorities that spending reveals about you.
Pay down your debt (work with professional help agencies like Consumer Credit Counseling
Services, www.cccsstl.org, if needed) to free up finances for giving.
God asks us to give a minimum of 10% (a tithe) to make a difference. If you aren’t presently
doing that will you start, or will you start moving toward tithing. (If needed do a ‘trial tithe’
for 4-6 months to see how you are blessed by this commitment-Malachi 3:10)
If you already give 10% (tithe) is their still more you want to do for these situations? Are
there other needs tugging on your heart. If so consider giving beyond 10% and see if that
would be a joy for you. ____________________________________________________
Q.6 –Are there things you are ‘giving’ to but not seeing them as important enough to “count”
(e.g. time spent with kids, time caring for your family, time listening to a friend)?
Why don’t they count? ______________________________________________________
How can you make more of your life a gift to God (difference making)? Identify time wasters
in your life and what you can do to free up that time: _______________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Do you want to increase time spent in making a difference? Why or why not?
________________________________________________________________________
If you do want to increase your impact how will you do that? _______________________
_________________________________________________________________________
Q.7/8 –Do you have resentment toward working with/giving to God to make an impact? Why?
Is there an issue of fear or anxiety linked to giving? Reflect upon and list any negative feelings
you have toward giving and list ways for you to deal with these. Do you need help from anyone
to deal with these issues, to generate possibilities, or to provide encouragement? Search for the
joy of thankfulness by listing ways that you are making a difference in the lives of people,
listing ways that your life has been blessed, etc.
Q.9 –Ask a couple of friends to give you feedback on what talents, skills, education or experiences
you have to offer that would help others. How can you ‘give joy’ along with the gift of
money/things/talents/knowledge? __________________________________________________
Q.10 -Identify your motive for giving and make sure it is in line with a heart that is grateful for all of
God’s blessings and love, and a desire to respond to God’s blessing by doing as the Lord asks. If it
is not in line, then begin working to remove the barriers (e.g. If it is done for recognition then reflect
upon why you need that recognition and how you can find it in better ways. Ponder how you can
find what you need in God’s valuing of you rather than in the approval of others. If it is for power/control
then reflect upon whether you are letting Christ be Lord and how you need to let him lead. If it is done
because of guilt then reflect upon the love God has for you and the forgiveness and freedom that come
through Christ).
Q.11 -Write out a 3-7 sentence description of what Jesus means to you.
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Share your description with trusted and astute friends and ask for their feedback. It would be
especially helpful if you could have a non-Christian share thoughts with you about it.
(who could you ask to do this: _______________________________________________)
Q.12 –Evaluate whether your actions and word both clearly reflect Christ. Is there something that
needs to happen in one or both to be a consistent light for Christ?
Q.13 –Evaluate the concerns you have about sharing your faith and reflect upon potential ways to
overcome them (e.g. find ways that fit your personality to talk about Christ. Write out your
message along with the fears you have of sharing it). Pray for God’s direction in finding the
words to speak. Ask a Christian more experienced in sharing the faith to tell you about his/her
experiences and see what you can learn.
Q.14 –Pick one or more of the people you have identified as wanting to talk to about Jesus. If
you’re ready then make a plan for your conversation and set a target time. If you are not ready,
why or why not? Make a list of what would it take to get you ready? What will you do about
these barriers?
Who do you need to share your faith with? How can you do that?
1. __________________________ how/when ________________________________________
2. __________________________ how/when ________________________________________
3. __________________________ how/when ________________________________________
4. __________________________ how/when ________________________________________
Submission to God:
Q.1 – Reflect on the priorities in your life. Are they what you want? __________________
Do you have any undesired priorities? __________________________________________
What are they costing/providing you? ___________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Q.2 – Reflect on what is positively and negatively impacted by your choice of priorities.
How are others touched by your choices? What opportunities are opened or lost? _______________________________________________________________________
Q.3 – Identify what situations, assumptions, people or… have formed your understanding
of “submission”. __________________________________________________________
Are there any misunderstandings or inaccuracies? Any biases? _____________________
________________________________________________________________________
Read the biblical perspective on submission (willingly and lovingly doing what another
desires as the first priority)? Matthew 20:25-28 – greatest is a slave, Matthew 23:8-12 - one
master, Mark 8:34-35 – pick up your cross, John 13:12-15 Jesus washing feet, etc. Visualize
what Jesus looked like, felt and thought in these experiences. Write a description of what
submission means as shown in these passages. ___________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
Q.4 – What has been the impact of your submitting to God’s direction (personally and for
others, positives and negatives)? ____________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Have all of the ways you have chose to submit been what God wanted or are the result of
what others wanted, what others told you submission meant, or you assumed you were
supposed to do? If you have any questions about whether they were the right direction
to take talk with some trusted others about it? _________________________________
Q.5 – List those things that are competing with God for the #1 spot along with the attraction
that they hold. ____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
What impact does having competing priorities have on you and how you view/respond to
God? __________________________________________________________________
What would it take for you to choose God as the single, clear, #1 priority? ____________
_________________________________________________________________________
Two activities that can help reveal priorities or struggles are Fasting and Simplicity. Fasting
can be from anything (food, an activity, etc) and for various lengths of time. It is done in order
to clarify our priorities and as a gift to honor God. Richard Foster’s book “Celebration of
Discipline” offers helpful insights and procedures on fasting. Simplicity is the act of removing
from our life all of the clutter and the unnecessary. In our world it is easy to accumulate stuff and
then to find our security in those things. Simplicity helps us back away from attachments to things
so that we can more fully hold onto God. Simplicity might even mean giving up things that
are helpful in order to remove the distraction they bring.
Consider a time of fasting. If you were to fast from something what would be the thing to choose:
____________________________________________________________________________
For how long and often: ________________________________________________________
Are there ways that you would benefit from simplifying your life? What are some ways that you
Would consider simplifying? _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
How will you go about that? ______________________________________________________
Q.6 – Tell God “thank you” for these blessings. Maybe write, paint or draw something to
show your gratitude.
Write down in a notebook all of the blessings you can think of, adding things as the come
along, and review this list on regularly as a reminder of the good things you have been given.
Maybe share some of these things with others. ____________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Q.7 –What are the specifics of how you are hiding your loyalty to God (e.g. doing things to try
and fit in, not telling of your love of God and Christ)? ________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
Reflect upon the value of Christ to your life and the blessings you have because of him. Think about
your need for him and how these gifts call for a response from you. Think about how others could be
blessed by the gifts Christ offers. __________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
What will you do to be true to God instead of hiding God in these situations? ______________
_________________________________________________________________________
Q.8 – Write out what is standing in your way to doing as God is asking: __________________
________________________________________________________________________
Make an action plan for how you could follow God’s directing: What: ___________________
________________________________________________________________________
Where: __________________________________________________________________
When: ___________________________________________________________________
With anyone else: __________________________________________________________
Authenticity:
Q.1 – Reflect on (and perhaps write out, take a picture, or make a painting/sculpture) how you
feel about the consistency or lack of consistency in who you “are” and who you “show” to others.
What damage is done by any lack of authenticity? ____________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Q.2 – Identify what these inconsistent “words” or “actions” are trying to hide? Why?
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Q.3 –Read Psalm 139, Matthew 6:25-32, Isaiah 49:15-16, and John 3:16-17. Make a list of how
God feels about you and responds to you. Identify whether you believe God accepts and values you?
Why do you believe in that acceptance or why not? What would make God’s acceptance more real
to you? Try sharing honestly some messy part of your life with God, then re-read these passages of
acceptance and think about how God wants to help.
Q.4 – Set a time to ask the person you identified to help you be “honest”. Write out specifically what
you want him/her to do and why you need it.
Q.5 –Christ calls us to be “holy” as God is holy (Leviticus 11:44-45, I Peter 1:16). Reflect upon this
challenge and how you want to respond. Since holiness isn’t something we do on our own how can
you allow God to help you in this?
Q.6 –Why are you struggling to be like Christ in this area? What are the needs, attitudes or
issues keeping you from changing it or allowing Christ to transform it? __________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Is there anything you need to confess?
1 .___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________________
What acts of repentance are needed for the above items?
1 .___________________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________________
Christ doesn’t insist or even ask that you do this by yourself. What help do you need to ask for from
him (e.g. someone you can trust to help show you the way)? Where or to whom can you reach out in
order to find the help you need?
Q.7 –How can/will you celebrate your growth over this past year? Don’t let the opportunity to
celebrate it pass by! Do you have any question(s) about your beliefs or actions that you need to
study/reflect upon/seek help on? Are their questions about your faith that are lingering but are going
unspoken and not dealt with? ______________________________________________
(If needed seek the guidance of church staff/leaders to identify study resources on these things)
Q.8 –What will/can you do to move back toward Christ? Who can you ask to help you in the effort
to move closer to Christ (e.g. someone to go to church with you, someone to pray for you or with you,
someone to ask how you are doing weekly)? Is there someplace that you are pretending to be alright
but are really only hanging on? What can you do to deal with the struggle? REMEMBER that Christ
loves you and accepts you just as you are! The Lord wants the best for you and is willing to do
extraordinary things to make a wonderful life and relationship with you possible. If you are willing to
have these gifts then turn toward him, ask for his help and do what he asks. Then be open to how he
reaches out to you.
Love:
Reflect upon and do a Bible study on how much God loves you. (e.g. John 3:16, Matthew
10:29-31). Study biblical reason to love (e.g. I John 4:18-20, I John 4:7-21) Pray for God to fill
you with love.
Q.1 – What about this person/people do you find hard to love? Why is this action/attitude/trait so
powerful for you (e.g. hurt, fear, jealousy)? How do you need to respond to this barrier? Can you
see positive things in the person? Think about how God might feel toward this person and list the
positive things that you believe God sees or feels (perhaps separating the person’s actions from the
person’s being would help in this effort).
Q.2 – What keeps you from wanting ‘good’ for this person (anger, wanting revenge, fear, etc.)?
How do you need to let God deal with them (Romans 12:17-21). Do you need to seek healing for
your wounds? Do you need to trust in God’s righteousness, wisdom and justice to ‘take care’ of
wrongs done? Do you need to pray daily for this person to find God’s presence and blessings? Do
you need to pray for God’s strength to help you see the good in them and desire good for this
person?
Q.3 - Reflect upon the rough edges in your life and where you have been shown love ‘in spite of’
things you have done or said. List these experiences, what you did and how others responded to
you. Also list why you think they responded that way and what helped them to take that pathway.
Have you ever felt like someone only loved you for what you do instead of who you are? Have
you ever wanted someone to see you as separate from your action(s) or mistakes? Why? When?
What difference would it have made? How do/could those experiences shape your focus on loving
or not loving?
Q.4 –List what it would take for you to lift the barriers keeping you from loving? List how the Lord
wants you to respond (e.g. forgive, trust, lovingly challenge) and what you are doing or are hesitating
to do on that list? If there are any hesitations, why? Do you need to love from a distance because the
relationship is toxic or dangerous (e.g. praying for some one who is abusive but removing oneself from t
he situation)?
Read Gary Smalley’s book “The Five Love Languages” to better understand how to express love in
helpful ways.
Joy:
Q.1 -For a week keep a journal listing (from 1-10) how joy/joyless you are at various times of
the day, in different situations, and with various people.
Q.2/3 -Reflect upon and identify common things in the high joy times and in the low joy times.
What leads to each of these high or low experiences?
Q.4 -Study Joy in Scripture and in the world. Also think about the qualities of God that we have to
celebrate: Always loving, kind, caring, willing to step into bad situations to help bring good for us,
compassionate, forgiving, etc.
Word study of contentment? (e.g. Philippians 4: 4, 11-13)
Study how we overcome circumstance based joy?
Identify the things that “put you in a great mood” consistently. What about them accomplish this?
How much/regular a part of your life are they?
Q.5 –Make a list of things that bring joy and keep this list around (you might categorize them according
to what brings big joy, medium delight, quick chuckles and how much effort/time/cost is needed to
obtain the joy). In thinking of what brings joy think of experiences but also of feelings or thoughts that
bring joy. Then focus on how you can foster these feelings or thoughts. For example, if gratitude is
a joy bringer then list as many things that you have to celebrate as you can. Maybe you can give
something to another or perform a service if that is what brings you joy. Or if the feeling of security
brings joy then list all of the ways that God is acting to protect you and to keep you safe.
You might write out goals for having different joy experiences. Some examples and resources are:
set aside 3 hours every two weeks to watch an appropriate comedy, read the comics once a week,
read a book of humor every month (e.g. The Joyful Noiseletter at http://www.joyfulnoiseletter.com/)
every month memorize a Scripture that brings you joy, etc. Use the journal at least three time a week
as a resource and reminder to seek out joy.
Gather a list of the resources needed for the joy bringers so that you can use them. Ask for God’s
filling of Joy.
Q.6 – Schedule a regular ‘filling’ of a ‘joy igniter’ so that you don’t run dry. Plan one of your joy
igniters every day for the next 10 days.
Peace:
Q.1 -Identify the five most peace filled experiences of the last week as well as the five most peace
less times. What led to the good and negative experiences; internal and external. Do you need to
reinforce or change an influence, thought pattern or focus? If you need to change an influence, list
what needs to be changed and why. List 3-5 steps you will take to do that (e.g. if jealousy is a
problem – every time a jealous thought comes to mind say a prayer of thanks that God has blessed
the person. Then think of two ways that you have been blessed). If something needs to be
reinforced, list how it helped in the past and 3 things you can do to make it stronger (e.g. gratitude
helped bring peace- and so make a list of the 100 best things that have happened to you or been
done for you and read it every week. Add new things to the list or create a new list every month)
Q.2/3 -Identify what you can do to let go of fears, demands and questions in order to find God’s
peace. List steps you can take to remove peace crushers and to bring peace even in a difficult
situation. (e.g. place security in relationship with God and not in a particular job, house, income).
Q.4/5 –Study the ways that people handle conflict in order to recognize the different priorities
and views of people in conflict. Think about how you are being sensitive or insensitive to people’s
values or needs. Is there an area where you are consistently being insensitive? Why? How has
your way of handling conflict worked or failed to bring peace in the past? What can you learn
from these past experiences? How hard do you work to understand the position of the other(s)
in conflict situations?
List your most recent conflict situation and write out the possible motives of the people involved.
Think about how the different motives of the others might change your response or feelings.
If you focus on a win/lose pattern why is that? How does this impact your situations, relationships
and sense of peace? Is there a way to work toward a win/win resolution?
Study the biblical image of peace and what brings it.
Word study of Security/Safety using a concordance ---e.g. 2 Timothy 4:17-19
Study what ‘peace’ entails—e.g. John 14:27
Reflect upon what it would take for you to trust totally in God’s oversight…..what it would
take for you to find wholeness?…..how would life be different if you totally trusted God?
Q.5–How does the call to peace ask you to respond to these situations?
Pray daily for the Spirit to fill you with Christ’s peace (e.g. John 14:27). Pray for those who are
contributing to your dis-ease. Meditate to release the tension from situations (e.g. focus on
God’s power and promises which tell us that we know the end of the story, so we can be
peace full).. Seek new knowledge about situations.
Other resources: For the church read- Antagonists in the Church by Kenneth Haugk, Creating a
Healthier Church by Ronald Richardson
Patience:
Q.1/2 -Identify in what situation or to what person you need to show patience/give grace.
Where do you need to pray for God’s filling of patience? Why do you find yourself inpatient
in these situations? Create or find something to be a reminder to help you bring grace to your
circumstances (e.g. a note on refrigerator or desk, symbol carried in your pocket). Identify
and list some ways for you to bring patience into a situation (e.g. deep breaths, ask for a break
and move out of the tense situation, think of something humorous, remember something you
value about the other person, remind yourself of God’s valuing of you and ask for the Lord to
show you how to be a blessing in the situation). Use the interruption to pray or to give praise to God.
Q.3 -Patience is often related to how well we give ‘grace’ to others. List numerous ways that
you have been shown ‘grace’, forgiveness or patience. What would your life be like without this
‘grace’/patience/forgiveness shown to you? Think about God’s love of people. How does God’s
valuing of people, even those you find frustrating, change your view of them or response to them?
Q.4 -Impatience often causes us to miss things that are important or that hold blessings. Make a
patience journal that lists what things each day challenge your patience or help you to have patience.
List quotes on patience and put suggestions for how to enhance your patience. Also list in it
what you have missed out on because of a lack of patience and the things that you have gained
because of patience.
When you experience delays look around for things to enjoy, learn from, or opportunities to be a
gift to another. A lack of patience is sometimes the result of not understanding another or from
misunderstanding them or the situation. How much effort do you put into understanding the other
or the whole situation? Why did you put in that amount of effort? Would more effort have helped
change things for the better? Is there a situation that you need to work to better understand or to
understand from a different perspective? List what you will do to obtain that understanding?
Q.5 – GREAT! Celebrate! Go out to dinner to celebrate or have your favorite cup of Java or a
Dr. Pepper. Buy a helium balloon and put in at your dinning room table as a reminder. Get a
bouquet of flowers. Share it with a friend and tell him/her why this was important to you. Give
yourself an extra 5 minutes to read or sleep.
Q.6 -Study the topic of patience in Scripture (e.g. Proverbs 19:11, 25:15, Ecclesiastes 7:8,
Romans 2:1-6, Colossians 3:12-13, Hebrews 6:10-12, James 5:7-11, Psalm 5:3, 27:11-14, 37:7).
Q.7/8 –What is hard about waiting on God? What fears arise when God doesn’t act immediately
as you desire? What do these feelings or reasons for impatience say about how you view God or
believe about God? Are there things about your relationship with God that need to be
strengthened or to grow? List the steps you will take to make that happen.
Change often challenges our patience. Understanding how and why people deal with change can
help us grow in patience instead of being frustrated by what seems to be stubbornness or randomness.
Study the characteristics of how people accept change in order to better understand what they
are thinking, wishing for and struggling against (e.g. Everett M. Rogers innovation acceptance
chart-Diffusion of Innovation, 1962 -- http://education.ed.pacificu.edu/bcis/workshop/adoption.html)
Kindness:
Ask God daily to open your eyes to the needs for kindness and to fill you with the desire
to help others. Then choose to let kindness flow.
Q.1 -What talents, skills, knowledge or experiences do you have that can be used to show
kindness to others? _____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Study Jesus response to people in need to see how he showed kindness to them by
(1) what he focused upon, (2) what he said to them and (3) how he acted. (e.g. woman
with flow of blood-Matt. 9:19-22, Peter’s mother-in-law-Matthew 8:14-17, Wedding at
Cana-John 2:1-10, thief on the cross-Luke 23:33-43, Samaritan Woman-John 4:4-30,
feeding of the 5000-Matthew 14:14-21, feeding of the 4000-Matthew 15:29-38, healing
of the Centurion’s servant-Luke 7:1-10, Healing of the 10 lepers-Luke 17:12-19, washing
of disciple’s feet-John 13:2-17).
Q.2/3 –Keep a journal of kindnesses you do (not to become pompous but to become
more aware of what you are doing) and also a section with the opportunities missed to
do kindness. Look at it at the end of each day and identify why you did or did not
share kindness.
Q.3 - Seek out a place where you can do the kindness you want to do. Pick several actions
that you can do with joy and enthusiasm each month. Make contact to find out about
opportunities to act in kind ways if needed and then schedule a time to act. Build relationship
with people who have similar desires in order to open up new opportunities of friendship and action.
What are at least three intentional acts of kindness (planned actions for someone you know) such
as babysitting for a couple so they can go on a date, washing a friends car, etc. you will do with
dates of when you will do them. Notice and think about the feelings and thoughts that come
when you do these kind acts?
1. ________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________
4. ________________________________________________________________
How can you expand the ways you show kindness? Do you need to expand your motivations to
showing care? How will you do that (e.g. get to know someone more personally so you have both
an emotional and intellectual connection, etc.)
Q.4 - If there are negative attitudes or motivations focus on confronting them. Identify acts of
kindness you have done for the wrong motive and see if you can change your motivation to a
healthy one. What can help you remove the barriers keeping you from showing kindness and care
or showing them in healthy and good ways This might be to pray for God to show you the barriers
and to send people to help you overcome them , to do a study of Scriptures on what hurts God and
what God most desires (e.g. Micah 6), to deal with inner fears or hurts by taking steps to forgive,
find security, and heal (e.g. name the wrong done, identify the pain and damage caused, offering it
to God’s care, choose to let go of any bitterness or anger, pray for Christ to help you forgive the
person), to identify your priorities (e.g. look at how you spend your time and money) and change
any that are off target, or to deal with prejudices or misconceptions? If you are struggling with an
intense hurt then you may need to seek counseling or other support in working through the issue.
Wounds are not to be covered over but to be healed! If you can’t change your negative feelings or
thoughts about a situations right now you might need to change your efforts to another focus area
until you can find a healthy response. Work to find the right area so that your heart and actions are
in sync.
Study kindness and its biblical meaning (e.g. Genesis 21:23, Jeremiah 9:24, 31:3, Hosea 11:1-4,
Acts 27:1-2, Romans 2:1-4, 11:22, Colossians 3:12, Titus 3:4-7, 2 Peter 1:4-8). Reflect upon
how your motives measure up to the biblical message or examples. What changes do you need
to make in attitudes or action?
Q.5 -Spend this week noticing and listing:
a. All the kindnesses God provides you
b. All the kindnesses others do for you (words, actions, patience given, etc.)
Read Luke 6:38. What thoughts come to you about your cap? What do you want to do in
response? Are there selfish reasons you don’t show more kindness? _______________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Evaluate the calling of Christ to be caring/kind and how you are responding. Why are you
responding in that fashion? Do you need to change attitudes or priorities to be more faithful?
Examine the lives of one or more person known for service (e.g. Mother Theresa, a personal
acquaintance of yours, Eli Stanley Jones) and identify their learnings, struggles and example
Q.6 –Is there anyone that you need to forgive so that you can offer kindness?
Who, and what will you do about this situation? _______________________________________
List three ways that you will strive to build more compassion into your life?
1. ________________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________________
Q.7/8/9 –What will you do for the person God is softening your heart toward? Do you need to let
go of resentment toward someone? Will you do that? How? Are you resistant to your heart being
softened? Why? What will you do to allow God to work in you?
Make it a priority for a week to do as many Random Acts of Kindness as you can (e.g. say a
compliment to a stranger, help someone with the door, let another person have the best parking spot).
Keep a journal about the situations as well as what you think and feel before, during and after
doing these kind acts?
Other resources: Saddleback Church’s 301 Class (www.saddlebackresources.com/en-US/MinistryTools/ClassMaterials/ClassMaterials.htm) gives a format for discovering spiritual gifts
as well as education, abilities, experiences that Christ can use. Willowcreek’s Network Program
(http://seeds.willowcreek.org/wc/) also provides a format for looking at personality, spiritual gifts
and passion to find your service focus.
Goodness:
Q.1 - Where do you see good/positive and bad/negative in the world? What makes something “bad”
for you? Are you ever too quick to label something or someone “bad”? Study the biblical concept of
‘goodness’ and stories of how God lifted up people to do good? (e.g. Romans 15:14, Ephesians 5:8-10,
Galatians 5:19-26, 2 Thessalonians 1:11, 2 Peter 1:2-7, Micah 6:8, Matthew 7:9-20, 12:33-35,
19:16-21, 25:14-27, Matthew 5:13-16).
Q.2 –List 7 friends or acquaintances that you consider bringing “good flavoring” into situations. What
is the good flavoring that they brings? List things you can learn from them?
Why do you bring the ‘flavoring’ you do? Does it differ from situation to situation? Why? If it is a bad
flavoring what will you do to change it? What flavor do you want to bring? Read Matthew 5:13 and
identify where you salt too much, too little and just right.____________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
List 5 ways you can bring good flavoring and what that good flavoring would be:
1. _____________________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________________
Q.3/4 -Where do you sense God showing you where you need to shine goodness? Where do you feel
God wanting you to be the presence of mercy? Where do you need to lovingly stand for justice?
Q.5 –How do you need to change your failing to be the “good” in a situation? What two or more
steps/actions will you take toward being the “good” flavoring into this experience? What can you
do to minimize the influence(s) keeping you from being the “good” flavoring?
Pray for the Lord to show you how to be the presence of goodness (not a rabble rouser or
judgmental Pharisee) and list any the specific action shown to you.
Faithfulness:
Who could you trust to give you an accurate picture of your faithfulness? Will you ask for it?
___________________________, ____________________________, ___________________
Q.1 –If you ignored Christ’s calling, why did you or why are you doing that? What do you need
to do or deal with in response to this refusal to follow? What steps will you take to remove the
barrier(s) to serving Christ? ______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Q.2 – What positive influence can you use to help you win this struggle? How will you use that
resource? Who can help you overcome your barriers to following Christ’s call? Will you ask
for his/her help and give specific ways you need help (e.g. by having him asking you particular questions
that keep you focused or honest, by running ‘interference’ with a problematic person)? Write out what
you need him/her to do and why.______________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________
Q.3 -What are areas of your life where you are following Christ faithfully and need to celebrate!
_____________________________________________________________________________
How will you celebrate? (e.g. make a journal that lists how Christ has used you to make a
difference, buy a special candle and burn it every time you feel you have been especially faithful,
make a prayer list of thanksgiving to God for helping you to be faithful, eat an M&M)
_____________________________________________________________________________
Q.4 -Identify areas of your life where you are not being faithful (e.g. priority, attitude, habits). _____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
List what things you will do to change directions and better follow Christ in the next
two weeks. Include any help needed and who you will ask for that help:
1. _____________________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________________
Gentleness:
Q.1/2 –If you were harsh or abrupt why? Do you need to go back and deal with that situation and
the consequences of your harshness? What do you need to do? How will you do it? Do you have
feelings or thought patterns that need to be changed so that future situations are handled differently?
What are they and what will you do? _____________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Q.3 -What does gentleness look like? How have you experienced it? ______________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Study Jesus’ interaction with those in need or seeking to understand. Noticing how and when he showed
gentleness (e.g. John 4:46-53, 5:1-9, 9:1-7, Matthew 9: 1-6, 18-33, Luke 7:11-15)
Q.4 – Reflect on what makes it hard for you to be gentle in particular situations or with particular
people. List as many steps as you can to change areas that aren’t being positively handled or that
could be handled better. Now choose the top 3-5 most important to you and list how you will
begin making those changes:_______________________________________________________
Q.5 -Our response to situations needs to change based on the needs present at the time. Some
moments call for greater gentleness while other situations may always need to be handled with
gentleness. Which of your situations always need gentleness: ____________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
List situations where you need to seek a better understanding or to work at sensing how much
gentleness is needing. List 2-3 ways in each that you will show that gentleness or work to better
understand.
1. _______________________________________________________________
a.___________________________________________________________
b.___________________________________________________________
c. ___________________________________________________________
2. _______________________________________________________________
a.___________________________________________________________
b.___________________________________________________________
c. ___________________________________________________________
3. _______________________________________________________________
a.___________________________________________________________
b.___________________________________________________________
c. ___________________________________________________________
Self-Control:
Q.1 -Name the 3 most important boundary lines you have drawn?
a. _____________________________________________________________________
b. _____________________________________________________________________
c. _____________________________________________________________________
Why are these boundaries important to you? Are these positive boundaries? Why or why not?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Q.2/3 –When you feel out of control how do you respond? Do you try and maintain/create boundaries?
Think about the last 2 situations where you felt out of control. How did you respond? Did you do things
that were destructive in the effort to maintain control? What could you have done differently? Where can
you find the right amount and kind of control needed for situations (e.g. not requiring things to always go
your way, providing the safety needed)? Who or what can help? ______________________________
__________________________________________ _____________________________________
________________________________________
Where do you derive your boundaries?
a. Family: ____________________________________________
b. Church: ____________________________________________
c. Scripture: ___________________________________________
d. Friends: ____________________________________________
e. personal priorities: ___________________________________
f. other ______________________________________________
Q.4 – How do you need to trust God and others in these situations? Are you compounding
problems by your response? How can you resist creating more difficulties in these times?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Q.5 -Are there boundaries you need to erase? What are they? How will you do that erasing?
a. _____________________________________________________________________
b. _____________________________________________________________________
Q.6 -Are there new boundaries you need to put in place? What are they and what steps will you take to
put them into place?
a. _____________________________________________________________________
b. _____________________________________________________________________
Wallace SC&W
Rev. Stephen C. Wallace
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