So much division and animosity. It seems as though the tone of our discourse with one another is at a shrill level so much of the time. Disagreements and the resultant hurt, anger, frustration, name calling and…is often at the forefront of our interactions. We in Christ’s Church need to do something about the situation we find ourselves in today. Why? Because we are called to be peacemakers, healers and builders. Unfortunately we church folk have too often been at the root of some of these very destructive interactions. So what can we do?
Perhaps pursuing three mindsets could help lead us to a better place. That is if we can master them as well as nurture them in our congregations and communities. These mindsets are to:
Think better of others,
Personalize/Humanize others (especially your adversary),
and Empathize with or at least strive to Understand the other.
Often dehumanizing terms are used for those we see as against us, which allows us to use actions or words that are harsher and more destructive. At times we don’t even care why “they” are doing or thinking as they are, we just what them to see our perspective and act like us. We also can fail to see our own minimized perspective and blind spots. If we want the conversation to cool down we need to do some things:
We need to look at the other’s story: what are the key experiences that shape them?
We need to strive to understand their motive: understand how he/she arrived where she/he is
We need to watch for our biases, assumptions and beliefs: why am I where I am on this issue?
We need to submit to Christ’s will: value what Christ values and prioritizes
Some free resources we offer to help bring understanding and action as well as deal with struggles include:
Setting Norms for your congregation
Outline of the levels of conflict and how to deal with them (Eric Brahm, George Bullard)
4 modes/areas that conflict must be dealt with in
Stress Relief options
Rebuilding Trust Efforts (Dennis & Michelle Reina)
Cultural Difference in priorities and values (Geert Hofsted)