Wallace SC&W
Rev. Stephen C. Wallace
SPIRITUAL MATURITY
Implementing Spiritual Disciplines
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ”
2 Peter 3:18
Relationships:
1. How often do you socialize with other Christians? Non-Christians?
___ Weekly or more
___ Every Couple of Weeks
___ Once a Month
___ Every few Months
___ Rarely
___ Never
2. What type of socializing with others do you find most meaningful
and/or enjoyable? Why?
___ Large Groups
___ Small Groups
___ A couple of others
___ One on One
_______________________________________________
3. How intently do you listen to others when they are talking?
___ Intensely
___ Moderately
___ Fade in and Out
___ Don’t really listen much at all
4. What motivates your listening?
___ Politeness
___ That I might be able to use something said for personal advantage
___ To learn about the person or situation
___ Because I care about the person
___ Forced to listen
___ Because I feel like I can help fix things
___ I listen for a break so that I can talk
___ Other: ________________________________________
5. How frequently do you open (share) yourself to other?
___ Frequently
___ Sometimes
___ On Occasion
___ Rarely
___ Never really show myself
6. When you share about yourself to others how deeply do you share?
(you may want to use a code for different groups you share with such as:
best friend (bf), Church Group (cg), Work (w), family (f), spouse (s),
friends (fr), etc.)
___ Surface Information (job, hobbies, where grew up, etc.)
___ Personal but safe information
___ Personal beliefs
___ Difficult or hurtful Experiences
___ Personal Struggles
___ Personal Dreams
___ Other: ________________________________________
7. How many people really know your heart and struggles?
___ Nobody
___ God alone
___ One Person
___ A Few
___ I don’t even allow myself to know
___ Many people know
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The Next Step: How to Grow in your Spiritual Maturity
(specific suggestion to questions in the inventory are labeled Q +
the number of the question)
Q.1 –Why do you socialize as frequently/infrequently as you do? Identify the
goal, motives, attitudes and desires driving your actions. Challenge any improper
or destructive focuses such as self-promotion, fear of being left out, etc.
Q.2 – Examine why you like these settings and what you don’t like
about those you avoid. Are there things you can do to gain from
each setting? What steps will you take to do that? With prayer
and reflection identify 2 or 3 events/couples/individuals/groups with
whom you would like to socialize. Pray for God to open the right
opportunity for that to happen. Initiate a meeting (e.g.
coffee, dinner, go to an event) in the next 1-2 months.
Q.3 –Spend a week focused on listening to everyone else. Notice
distractions and things that make it hard for you to listen intently.
Reflect on ways you can remove these barriers. Before social events
spend time identifying 2-3 things you can ask others about in order to
show your interest in them as well as 2-3 things about yourself that can
be shared. Seek more to understand than to be understood. Don’t
be working out what you are to say next instead of listening to the
person speaking.
Keep a notebook of concerns/successes/experiences of Christian
friends and ask about them later (e.g. remember the date of a big
work project & call to see how it went).
Q.4 –Search for things to value in each person you meet and
something you can gain/learn from him/her. Continue to watch for
things that you didn’t know or that you could learn about people as
your relationship continues.
Q.5/6/7 –Reflect upon why you keep the things secret that you do.
Think about the benefits and risks of sharing yourself with someone.
If you don’t share a part of you begin by talking with God about
this part of you.
Identify what parts and with whom you would be willing (or need)
to share your life journey (successes and difficulties).
